White Christmas Onstage (or the Misadventures of a Night at the Theater)

What a treat!  Java’s family is meeting out of town for Thanksgiving and close by is the national tour of White Christmas on stage.  Yea!  After an early dinner, Java inquires about going to the play. 

“Would anyone like to attend one of the greatest, funniest, feel-good, laugh-out-loud, family-friendly, classic movies adapted for the stage?!”

“Not really.”

“Oh.”

“But have fun.” 

Maybe she oversold it. 

Slightly disappointed but undaunted, Java drives on alone still excited. She’s finally seeing a show that’s been on her wish list for years! Visions of footlights, dry ice, and stage snow dance in her head.

But what’s this? Nature calls and there is no relief for miles. The woods? No. She’s sure a stalker lurks behind every oak tree waiting to prey on people who drive to theaters without thinking of “going” before they go.

(Have you ever searched around for a rest stop forty minutes before the curtain rises near a strange town on a holiday weekend when everything is closed? Oh, you haven’t? Well, it’s no walk in the park. In fact you’re not walking at all; you’re running. Everywhere. And you hope not to lose your dignity on the way.)

Surging ahead, Java makes it to the theater before the overture. Victory! Searching for her seat, she notices a man sitting with his wife (sixty-ish), but flirting with two blondes (twenty-ish), with one seat between the two couples. That one is Java’s seat. She greets everyone. They all respond jovially, except the guy.

“Good evening,” Java says. 

“Harrumph.”

“Guess I’m the cock blocker tonight,” she thinks to herself. At this point she has weathered imaginary tree stalkers, found relief where there is none, driven alone to a strange town and made it to her seat before the conductor can tap his wand thingy. 

“I’m here to watch White Christmas,” she muses. “No one can ruin my mood, not even the Scrooge in row A seat 4!”

Java smiles. He turns his back on her and his knees toward his companion for the rest of the evening. 

“Well, maybe I saved his marriage.”

They all watch the play; it is absolutely charming. A faithful stage adaptation of a film with a few changes for flavor. 

The bold, black, velvet gown with silver pin on the back that Rosemary Clooney wears during the “Love (You Didn’t Do Right By Me)” number, is recreated for the stage in long flowing black satin with a black and silver ruched satin train. It looks like this:

Well, it sort of looks like this.

Java internally squeals! The costume designer knows that rabid classic movie fans will be here with pen and paper, taking notes, and making sure everything is just right! 

“I love this play,” she says. 

The show is so lovable that everyone in the audience sings the title song at the end (even Scrooge).Grinning with the contentment that one has when a remake is in good hands, Java leaves town to return to her family. 

“What a great day,” she says to herself, smiling. Just then her car stalls on the side of the wooded highway and nature calls for the second time. 

Here we go again.